I am writing to you on the fly this month, dolls…literally! I am 30,000 feet up in the air, winging my way from Portland Oregon to Las Vegas, then driving two hours to a tiny town in Utah to meet up with a very special lady. Happily, I am finally in the midst of filming my groupie/muse documentary for VH1, “Let’s Spend the Night Together,” based on my most recent book. Hooray! I have long wanted to give these very important women their due. Unfortunately the term “groupie” has been maligned, distorted and completely misunderstood. Originally coined by a Brit journalist meaning ‘a follower of groups,’ it quickly became a negative jeer by envious people who couldn’t get backstage. By those NOT in the know, groupies are perceived as loose women, star fuckers, and to use an old-fashioned term, gold diggers. Wrong. A true blue groupie is someone who loves the music so damn much that they feel the need to get close to the person who makes it. “How do they touch me in that way?” They wonder, “Where does that divine sound come from?”
We are focusing on the ‘classic’ groupies, those fortunate few who were around during the golden heyday, the earth-shattering rock renaissance. These girls spent many intimate moments with the Rolling Stones, Led Zeppelin, Jimi Hendrix, Elvis Presley. Can we talk? Oh yeah.
Our first stop is Little Rock, Arkansas, hometown of one of rock’s most notorious, unapologetic groupie gals of all time – Sweet Connie. Very few dolls get name-called in an eternal rock classic, but during her very first year of groupiedom, as a teenager, Grand Funk Railroad immortalized her in “We’re an American Band.” “Sweet, sweet Connie/Doing her act/She’s had the whole show/And that’s a natural fact.” Connie so wanted to be around the musical madness, that she was more than happy to ‘service’ group members and the entire show surrounding the bands, including roadies, managers and soundmen, becoming world-famous for her fabulous blow jobs. Now in her mid-fifties, Connie still cavorts with the likes of Eddie Van Halen and Bob Dylan’s guitar tech, generously showing her love and appreciation for their continuing contribution to rock.
Next up on our rockin’ road trip is probably THE most famous groupie of all-time, Ms. Cynthia Plaster Caster of Chicago.
Her art will be around long after all the rock gods and their muses have passed into dust. Since 1968, Cynthia has been proudly making plaster casts of rock stars’ erect penises and putting them up on pedestals. Surprisingly shy, she needed a gimmick to get herself into hotel rooms and through back stage doors, and this ingenious gimmick did the trick. During our filming at her fave club, the Hideout, Cynthia ‘proposed’ to hot little hometown cutie, Ezra Furman, and I do believe he will soon be added to her copious collection of plaster hard-ons. The lucky singer-songwriter will be joining the substantial glory of Jimi Hendrix, the pride and joy of Cynthia’s stiff display of sublime artistry.
The last two days have been joyously spent in rainy Portland with one of the original flower children, Michele Overman, who still basks in the long ago afterglow of her love affair with Robert Plant.
We met on the dance floor at the Palomino Club, during a swoony late 60s Flying Burrito Brothers’ gig. She had just dallied with Gram Parsons, and I was crazy about Chris Hillman, but we soon found ourselves swept into the monstrous all-consuming majesty that was Led Zeppelin. I was hand-in-hand with Jimmy Page and Michele’s sweet blond beauty had captivated the Golden God himself, Sir Robert Plant. By this time, Michele’s hippie heart and flowing locks had entranced several rock lords, one of whom, a young androgynous singer with a big yummy mouth that would eventually charm the entire world – Aerosmith’s Steven Tyler. Michele is still the consummate romantic.
This evening in the small, snowy, quaint town of Enoch, Utah, I am meeting with the incredible Tura Satana, actress, (she starred as “Varla” in Russ Meyer’s legendary “Faster Pussycat Kill Kill!”) diva, former stripper – “Miss Japan America,” the babe who would share her bed, smooching techniques, dance moves and sex tips with The King! To be continued…
Back on a plane to L.A. I am still reeling from the titillating confessions of the ballsy and unrepentant Tura Satana. Now 71 years old, this magnificent dame has incredible recall about her long, passionate romance with a young Elvis Presley. She was 18 and he in his early twenties when they met on the beach after their respective shows in a small Southern town. She swears that after watching her burlesque bump and grind, moves that drove sailors crazy, Elvis asked Tura to show him how she jiggled her leg like that, and swiveled her hips just so. And after a few dates, she had the nerve to tell the Man Who Would Be King that his kissing style needed improvement! “Oh he got better, all right,” she purred, “and THEN I taught him how to really please a woman with that beautiful mouth of his.” Be still my eternal groupie heart! Tura insists that Elvis proposed marriage to her one sultry long ago night, and that 3 carat diamond ring is still twinkling on her finger, creating dazzling rainbows in the pure white snows of Utah.